☀️ sun > Love > Instinct > Self-aware > Perspective, Iterations: 0

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Definition

👁️‍🗨️-📝

In the program, perspective is your understanding on how to view the world. While your view matters, it’s also quite limited, and the fact that you have a perspective is not unique. There are other people who exist in the world besides you, which means there are at least two perspectives: the subjective and the objective. It introduces the idea that you must not only form your own unique view, but you must learn to live with other people’s view, too. Shifting perspectives is a way to know yourself and empathize with others.

Link to original

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Goal

• You will understand that you and others each have their own subjective viewpoints, but there is an even higher objective viewpoint.
• You will understand frames of reference, how to use your imagination to move between them, and how to use intuition to understand other people’s emotions.
• You will learn how to reconcile conflicting your subjective views with the objective reality.

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Learning Points

1. Why don’t people see things the way I do?
2. How can I see from their eyes?
3. How do I know if I am seeing clearly?

ᛝ · · · Ego Blindness ᛝ · · · Isolation ᛝ · · · Broken Trust ᛝ · · · Misplaced Expectations ᛝ · · · Caught Off-balanced ᛝ · · · Reactionary Adaptations

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Why don’t people see things the way I do?

1. It helps illustrate the idea of tolerance towards different viewpoints so that we learn to live together.
2. It’s an opportunity to learn that mindsets affect emotion and environments.

1 Subjectivity

• Everyone has their own view
• More conducive to living in a private reality
• Too much can lead to self-centered behaviors
• Too little can lead to self-neglect

2 Objectivity

• There is a shared view
• More conducive to living in a shared reality
• Too much can lead to self-neglect
• Too little can lead to self-centered behaviors

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How can I see from their eyes?

1. It gives an opportunity to learn about empathy through using intuition.
2. It helps manage your risks.
3. It helps to self-monitor and self-correct.

Exercises

1. Cylinder

1 Private Reality

AKA inner reality

• These are the many individual, private worlds unique to each subjective mind. It contains their emotions, background knowledge, self-identity, dreams, and wishes. It is owned only by the subjective person. This is invisible and unknowable to anyone but the subject.
• We look at the world through glasses tinted with the color of our private reality.

2 Shared (Outer) Reality

AKA outer reality

• This is the public world of an objective observer. It contains physics, time, consequences, limitations, and logic. It is not owned by anyone, but this is the visible and discoverable world of the subjects who lives within it.
• The shared reality pushes back against people’s private realities and applies friction to people’s expectations.

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How do I know if I am seeing clearly?

1. It helps to reconcile the subjective view with the objective reality.
2. It distinguishes assumptions from facts.
3. It helps to bring people together to live in a shared space.
4. It encourages being curious, not judgmental.

Exercises

1. Chroma Banana

1 Expectation

It becomes essential to analyze what a person expects. Expectations are the desires of one’s private reality that are projected onto the shared reality.

2 Friction

When we get pushback from reality, it clashes with our expectations. This is a friction between what we want and what we get. The result is emotional damage, and it behooves us to reduce friction to preserve our own mental health. We must understand that we can’t have things the way want all the time.

This is one of the best teachers in life because it keeps us grounded. The purpose is individual and communal growth, not suffering. We only suffer when we can’t accept reality.

3 Roll with it

This is where you reconcile the difference your expectations and reality. It’s important to feel your emotions, but don’t let them rule control you. Learn the lesson they teach you, then let them go. Ask yourself:

• Am I reacting emotionally because of the death of my expectation, I haven’t processed my emotions clearly, I am making assumptions about someone and their intentions, or am I reacting to what is actually happening?
• What fact about the person, situation, or issue am I choosing to ignore so that I keep feeling offended?

Case: Gender Identity

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nEkSG13U42w When someone refuses to acknowledge pronouns:

1. Differentiate your and their private realities.
   1. Turn it around: If someone were to require that you recognize God as creator, not to use foul language, or refrain from oversharing without permission, what would that be like?
   2. Their private reality might dictate the opposite of yours. It doesn’t mean that you cannot respect each other or that there is an active disrespect occurring.
2. Recognize respect: If the person is treating you with dignity other than following the beliefs of your private reality, then they are treating you like a person.
   1. People disagree all the time, but they can still show respect in other ways.
   2. A refusal to follow rules for interacting with you is not a rejection of your humanity. They are following the rules of their own private reality.
      1. Are they requiring rules for interacting with them? If so, then they are being contradictory.
3. Self validate: Your private feelings doesn’t need public validation. If you need everyone to validate your feelings, you have given away your power. Your emotional state is held hostage by their acceptance.
   1. Know the difference between an attack and boundary friction. Try to be clear on their intention before reacting. Try not to assume things.
   2. You already own your private reality, and you can let other people own their private realities without pushing yours.
   3. There is no right or wrong here.

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Exploratory Questions

When you find yourself in a deep, recurring conflict with someone who refuses to see a situation your way, can you outline three valid, logical pieces of data that their perspective is prioritizing which your own current view is actively filtering out or ignoring?

STRATEGY

• Listen for
  • ego-centric views, “yeah, but”, deflecting or re-centering
• Guide toward
  • stating the other person’s argument in a way they’d agree with
    • If you can’t state the other person’s argument in a way they’d agree with, are you understanding their argument fully?
  • If you were starting a project with your own money, time, and hopes, would you start the project by only knowing half the required information?
  • Is it possible that you could be ignoring, filtering out, or simply not have all the information?
  • If all things are clear and in the open and they still don’t see things your way, could you operate rationally within their rules if you had to?
    • If not, how could you best use your energy to maintain self-dignity and mutual respect even if you disagree with them?
      • Would there be a benefit to this at all?
    • If not, what are the steps you would have to take to honor your own space, principles, and needs?

Look at a recent moment where you felt deeply misunderstood or unappreciated. Strip away your emotional narrative entirely: what do the cold, objective, physical facts of that scene look like to a security camera recording the room with no bias?

STRATEGY

• Listen for
  • attempts to centralize the story around their perspective only
• Guide toward
  • being an objective, third-party impartial witness to what’s happening
  • How much of your anger stems from the story told by your own perspective on the facts rather than the facts themselves?
  • Suppose an emotionless camera were observing actions. Is disrespect an observable action or an emotion that cannot be caught by a camera?
    • Are you willing to drop your interpretation of the action to see what is actually happening from the emotionless camera point of view?

Think of an opinion or belief you held with absolute certainty five years ago that you now realize was completely wrong or limited. What does that tell you about the absolute certainty you are carrying into your current conflicts today?

STRATEGY

• Listen for
  • upholding the illusion of the flawless subjective viewpoint
• Guide toward
  • highlighting the errors and limitations of subjective views
  • If your subjective view has failed you before, are you now still treating it as the only correct view?
  • If we all have our own subjective views, do you have the expectation that others should adopt your view over theirs? Why or why not?
  • Since we all have our subjective views, is it emotionally healthy to hold people’s views against them and show hostility or anger?
    • Likewise, if the subjective, inner reality doesn’t match the objective, outer reality, which emotional setting would yield a better decision-making environment?
  • Since we all live together subjectively in an objective reality, should we make sacrifices here and there to facilitate a better community or should we all start trying to impart our will at the same time?
  • If we all took a moment to assess our role in the immediate environment, what rights, if any, do we have to enforce our subjective viewpoint over everyone else’s?

If you had to make an AI that perfectly mimics the choices, reactions, and logic of the person you disagree with most, what are three sources of stress or pressure that would make their behavior completely logical to them?

STRATEGY

• Listen for
  • assumptions of people being irrational, emotional, or illogical
• Guide toward
  • seeking more subjective information to build a more complete understanding
  • If someone’s choices seem completely insane to you, is it possible that means your understanding of their situation is incomplete?
  • If you ignore the subjective information in their private reality, how can you build a relationship with them that includes your private reality and the shared reality?

Look past the words or tone someone used that recently triggered your defensiveness. If you strip away their emotional—perhaps aggressive—delivery, what is the core structural need (security, acknowledgment, control, or predictability) that they may be frantically reaching for?

STRATEGY

• Listen for
  • focus on emotional interpretations
• Guide toward
  • separating emotional behaviors from their psychological needs
  • Isn’t it true that a person with a broken arm is visibly injured and their reaction is understandable?
    • Why is it difficult to understand that a person with a broken ego is invisibly injured?
    • Does their emotional reaction become more understandable?
  • Are you willing to shift your attention to their emotional or mental injury so that the conflict is resolved as peacefully as possible?

If you step entirely out of your own skin and look at yourself through the eyes of the person who is currently resisting you, what specific behaviors, tones, or unyielding stances of **yours** make you look like an unreasoning roadblock or a threat to their peace?

STRATEGY

• Listen for
  • the illusion of personal innocence
• Guide toward
  • everyone is fallible and should be willing to compromise when necessary
  • If you are standing as a roadblock to another person’s story, how can you be pictured as a hero in their eyes?
  • If you are unwilling to move a little and compromise, how can you expect them to be less defensive toward you?

Think of a recent situation where you felt completely justified in your anger, hurt, or frustration. If you had to present that exact scene to a strict judge in a court of law using only physical, factual evidence—zero adjectives, assumptions, opinions, and emotional interpretations—what does the scene actually look like?

STRATEGY

• Listen for
  • relying on the tint of their private reality
• Guide toward
  • seeing the event objectively
  • If your clarity depends on your interpretation rather than the raw data, are you actually seeing the room, or are you just staring at your own projection?
  • If you can’t understand your own emotions in this situation, how can other people understand you?
    • Shift your frame of reference up into a higher perspective. Do you see how emotions can cloud your vision of what is really happening?

Look at a recurring conflict or systemic frustration in your life that keeps blindsiding you. What unyielding, objective fact about the other person or your environment are you consistently choosing to ignore or wish away just so you can keep your original expectation alive?

STRATEGY

• Listen for
  • blaming friction as a personal insult
• Guide toward
  • not blaming reality for being itself; adapting their path to go around obstacles, not shout at them
  • If a brick wall were to suddenly appear in your path, do you shout at the bricks for being their or do you go around?
    • When a river flows downhill, how does the water react to boulders in its way?
    • How much energy would you save today if you stopped fighting the layout of the shared reality and go around things that give friction?

Before you made your last major decision or reached a definitive conclusion about someone's motives, were you running under emotions, such as frustration, fear, pride, or a need for control?

STRATEGY

• Listen for
  • being absolutely certain while still being emotional; don’t rationalize
• Guide toward
  • applying logic to the situation
  • Since human vision is so narrow (seeing only 0.0035% of the light spectrum), everything you see will look greenish when under a green light.
    • How can you be certain that your emotions aren’t affecting your perception of the situation?
    • If you can’t see something, does it mean it isn’t there? Oppositely, if you think you see something, does it mean it is real?
    • How can this apply to interactions, events, and issues that are giving you friction?
  • How does the tint of your private reality affect the information you allow in?

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Thought Experiments

• Listen for
  • “yeah, but” defenses
    • “Who is winning here: your future self or your current habits?”
    • “Fair enough, removing that part from the equation, what is the one place you still have control over?”
    • “Notice how you fell back to a yeah, but. That’s something you’ve used before. Is that script an asset that is sharpening your edge or is it a loop that keeps you from growing?”
• Guide toward
  • redirecting toward other people’s perspectives
  • When you look at the other people’s subjective views, do you understand their reactions can be entirely about their own internal pressures without taking yours into consideration?
  • Why do you feel that someone’s criticisms are a direct attack and an indication that they don’t appreciate your efforts or hard work?
  • If you were to guess, how much emotional energy do you waste every week taking other people’s internal struggles personally?
  • If you stay locked in to your own subjective view, can you see how you might emotionally snap at them?
    • How can you choose to see things from their view and give them the benefit of the doubt before making assumptions in an emotionally (sometimes physically) compromised state?
    • What would it feel like to make an impulsive response based on actual facts rather than assumptions of someone’s intentions?
      • What would it take to clarify those intentions?
  • When you realize your subjective experience is just one “camera angle” among many, how does that change your frustration when someone disagrees with you?
    • Does it mean they are wrong, or does it just mean they have a different interpretation?
    • How much more effective would your decisions be if you stopped making assumptions to defend your view and started collecting the other viewpoints to see what you might have missed?

• Listen for
  • pleas of common sense or claims of seeing a better perspective than theirs
  • judging them as stupid, difficult, or broken
• Guide toward
  • understanding their perspective without comparing which is better because it isn’t the point; explain logically, but don’t expect them to comply
  • When you look at the situation from someone else’s private reality, does your personal irritation with them hold its shape, or does it instantly evaporate?
  • When someone doesn’t agree with your perspective, does it mean that you have to take it personally?
  • If you take a moment to try to use intuition to find empathy and understand their unspoken private reality, is it an effective way to avoid clumsy emotional reactions and misunderstandings between both of you?
  • If you stay locked in your own private reality without adjusting to other private or the shared realities, are you setting yourself up for a frustrating life full of conflicts?
    • Is it logical for you to 1) expect the world to know your private reality; 2) expect to effectively and completely communicate your private reality; 3) expect the world to forget their private and the shared realities and follow yours?

Info

Before you answer the questions below, please read Chroma Banana.

• Listen for
  • being unsure of how to check what is true objectively vs subjectively
• Guide toward
  • accepting the existence of other invisible, unknown subjective and objective views
  • If you accept there are objective realities beyond your current sight, do you stop defending your particular view so strongly?
  • Does being humble enough to realize that your current perspective is just a lens of a certain color?
  • If you are able to see things with different lenses, do you become a sharper reader of the room?
  • How can I know what is true subjectively vs objectively?
    • Check the “light source”:
      • What is my current emotional bias, and what lens am I using to process the situation: fear, exhaustion, pride, or what?
    • Check the other “test subjects”: If someone disagrees with you, don’t assume you know why.
      • What does their private reality allow them to see that my private reality is filtering out?
    • Return to the shared reality: Strip away adjectives, emotions, and interpretations.
      • What are the related facts and verifiable actions that actually occurred?
      • What would a neutral, emotionless third party (like a camera) see clearly?
  • Is your desire to be “right” hijacking your logic because it’s the path of least resistance (easier to do than think in a more empathetic way)?

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2026-06-27 17:45