Invisiblock
Secondary gain is a term in psychology. It means that you prefer to remain in a state of distress because your brain experiences a comfortable sense of validation, sympathy, and attention.
This may help you rationalize excuses to avoid risks, personal responsibility, or even taking action at all. It can build a false sense of comfort in complacency. If comfort in complacency is more important to you than facing the uncomfortable effort of change, you may be subconsciously choosing to keep the status quo.
Types
Sadfishing: Exaggerating emotional distress online specifically to fish for sympathy and comforting responses.
Martyr Complex: Seeking the chance to suffer or hold onto misery because it fulfills extrinsic validation or a “holier-than-thou” sense of moral superiority.
Complaining to Cope: Using venting as a permanent substitute for active problem-solving. Supporters become drained of their efforts to help.